The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired
- Downloads：9111
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2021-04-17 11:55:24
- Update Date：2025-09-13
- Status：finish
- Author：Daniel J. Siegel
- ISBN：1524797731
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
- Download
Summary
Parenting isn't easy。 Showing up is。 Your greatest impact begins right where you are。 Now the bestselling authors of The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline explain what this means over the course of childhood。
"There is parenting magic in this book。"--Michael Thompson， Ph。D。， co-author of the New York Times bestselling classic Raising Cain
One of the very best scientific predictors for how any child turns out--in terms of happiness， academic success， leadership skills， and meaningful relationships--is whether at least one adult in their life has consistently shown up for them。 In an age of scheduling demands and digital distractions， showing up for your child might sound like a tall order。 But as bestselling authors Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson reassuringly explain， it doesn't take a lot of time， energy， or money。 Instead， showing up means offering a quality of presence。 And it's simple to provide once you understand the four building blocks of a child's healthy development。 Every child needs to feel what Siegel and Bryson call the Four S's:
- Safe: We can't always insulate a child from injury or avoid doing something that leads to hurt feelings。 But when we give a child a sense of safe harbor， she will be able to take the needed risks for growth and change。
- Seen: Truly seeing a child means we pay attention to his emotions--both positive and negative--and strive to attune to what's happening in his mind beneath his behavior。
- Soothed: Soothing isn't about providing a life of ease; it's about teaching your child how to cope when life gets hard， and showing him that you'll be there with him along the way。 A soothed child knows that he'll never have to suffer alone。
- Secure: When a child knows she can count on you， time and again， to show up--when you reliably provide safety， focus on seeing her， and soothe her in times of need， she will trust in a feeling of secure attachment。 And thrive！
Based on the latest brain and attachment research， The Power of Showing Up shares stories， scripts， simple strategies， illustrations， and tips for honoring the Four S's effectively in all kinds of situations--when our kids are struggling or when they are enjoying success; when we are consoling， disciplining， or arguing with them; and even when we are apologizing for the times we don't show up for them。 Demonstrating that mistakes and missteps are repairable and that it's never too late to mend broken trust， this book is a powerful guide to cultivating your child's healthy emotional landscape。
"There is parenting magic in this book。"--Michael Thompson， Ph。D。， co-author of the New York Times bestselling classic Raising Cain
One of the very best scientific predictors for how any child turns out--in terms of happiness， academic success， leadership skills， and meaningful relationships--is whether at least one adult in their life has consistently shown up for them。 In an age of scheduling demands and digital distractions， showing up for your child might sound like a tall order。 But as bestselling authors Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson reassuringly explain， it doesn't take a lot of time， energy， or money。 Instead， showing up means offering a quality of presence。 And it's simple to provide once you understand the four building blocks of a child's healthy development。 Every child needs to feel what Siegel and Bryson call the Four S's:
- Safe: We can't always insulate a child from injury or avoid doing something that leads to hurt feelings。 But when we give a child a sense of safe harbor， she will be able to take the needed risks for growth and change。
- Seen: Truly seeing a child means we pay attention to his emotions--both positive and negative--and strive to attune to what's happening in his mind beneath his behavior。
- Soothed: Soothing isn't about providing a life of ease; it's about teaching your child how to cope when life gets hard， and showing him that you'll be there with him along the way。 A soothed child knows that he'll never have to suffer alone。
- Secure: When a child knows she can count on you， time and again， to show up--when you reliably provide safety， focus on seeing her， and soothe her in times of need， she will trust in a feeling of secure attachment。 And thrive！
Based on the latest brain and attachment research， The Power of Showing Up shares stories， scripts， simple strategies， illustrations， and tips for honoring the Four S's effectively in all kinds of situations--when our kids are struggling or when they are enjoying success; when we are consoling， disciplining， or arguing with them; and even when we are apologizing for the times we don't show up for them。 Demonstrating that mistakes and missteps are repairable and that it's never too late to mend broken trust， this book is a powerful guide to cultivating your child's healthy emotional landscape。
Reviews
Mary Minkovich
，
So repetitive。。。could have been a short essay。
Brooke Barton
，
Good reminders
Irina Subredu
，
"Efectul neurobiologic al atasamentului securizant este un creier integrat: un sistem nervos puternic care nu ramane prins intr-un stres prelungit。 Drept urmare， copiii pot aborda viata pornind de la premisa ca sunt protejati， ca dragostea si relatiile vor fi consecvente si prezente in vietile lor si ca pot gestiona inevitabilele momente dificile ale vietii，simtindu-se in siguranta si in largul lor in lume"。 "Efectul neurobiologic al atasamentului securizant este un creier integrat: un sistem nervos puternic care nu ramane prins intr-un stres prelungit。 Drept urmare， copiii pot aborda viata pornind de la premisa ca sunt protejati， ca dragostea si relatiile vor fi consecvente si prezente in vietile lor si ca pot gestiona inevitabilele momente dificile ale vietii，simtindu-se in siguranta si in largul lor in lume"。 。。。more
Cyndie Courtney
，
Many of the authors' other books focus primarily on how we should respond to our children when they are facing challenges or when we are trying to teach them。 This book does feel like a logical installment that is often alluded to in their other books - namely how can WE be our best selves when we show up to the table with them。 They allude previously to how much our own upbringing influences our parenting and here they talk about how by understanding and processing the context we bring to paren Many of the authors' other books focus primarily on how we should respond to our children when they are facing challenges or when we are trying to teach them。 This book does feel like a logical installment that is often alluded to in their other books - namely how can WE be our best selves when we show up to the table with them。 They allude previously to how much our own upbringing influences our parenting and here they talk about how by understanding and processing the context we bring to parenting and developing skills - we can mindfully show up with for our kids and thus teach them to do the same。 While the authors try to make this seem low-stakes， it still can feel like a tall order for those of us who may have leftover baggage that we're carrying around with us while also caring for tiny humans。 Hoping that the fear and guilt as they explain is one sign that we're trying hard to do it right and keep working on growing， doing better and asking for help when we need it。 。。。more
Clark
，
Definitely some good parenting advice in here。 It felt like it could have been a long blog post and I would have gotten the same information out of it。 Nonetheless， I've been bringing some of the ideas into my parenting in the last few months and they have been very helpful。 I would recommend a skim if you're a parent。 Definitely some good parenting advice in here。 It felt like it could have been a long blog post and I would have gotten the same information out of it。 Nonetheless， I've been bringing some of the ideas into my parenting in the last few months and they have been very helpful。 I would recommend a skim if you're a parent。 。。。more
Daniel Noventa
，
Logical take on parenting with perspective and empirical research。 My kid’s still under a year， so plenty of room to make sure he’s able to grow into a fully functional human。 Im looking forward to utilize some of the tactics and insights presented in this book。
Jen
，
Both authors have written a few books together and you can tell they compliment each other。 This books explains attachment parenting， neuroscience and how behaviours manifest from our feelings。 I would highly recommend this book for any parent。 For additional info， check out my review - https://raising2children。com/the-powe。。。 Both authors have written a few books together and you can tell they compliment each other。 This books explains attachment parenting， neuroscience and how behaviours manifest from our feelings。 I would highly recommend this book for any parent。 For additional info， check out my review - https://raising2children。com/the-powe。。。 。。。more
Becca Tillotson
，
A joy to read， such a positive， helpful book！！ I've read many good parenting books， and always end up feeling very guilty， but goodness how many lightbulb moments I've had while reading this one， and I'm now excited to gear up and put into practice the skills I've learned。 So grateful for these two authors！ A joy to read， such a positive， helpful book！！ I've read many good parenting books， and always end up feeling very guilty， but goodness how many lightbulb moments I've had while reading this one， and I'm now excited to gear up and put into practice the skills I've learned。 So grateful for these two authors！ 。。。more
Lisa Vroegh
，
I highly recommend this book！ It was great from a parenting perspective but also from a marriage & interpersonal perspective。 Learning about the types of attachments we formed as children can help to understand how we behave today and if needed to change it。 There are great practical tips in this book and a lot of easy to understand， science-based research to explain the whys and hows。
Rachel Croce
，
So good。 Such a great read for anyone who works with and has children in their lives。 The ability to show up and be emotionally attuned to a child with the outcome of regulation or their feeling seen and cared for。。。 this is so so so powerful。 Great examples and research in the book。 Some parents might find it helpful to be coached on these tasks， which I found limiting in the text。
Briana Cho
，
I loved this book。 It was the refreshment and info I didn’t know I needed on relationships。
Lauren
，
Overall， I enjoyed it。 I appreciated the emphasis on science and long term pros and cons。 The constant reiteration was tiresome but， I realize they were trying to drive their points home。 All in all， not a bad read。
Lisa
，
I truly didn’t read enough for a completely fair rating， but it was just sooooo boring I couldn’t go on。Be there for your kids， repeat over and over。 It’s a good message and true， but the repetition is not easy to read。Maybe I’ll pick this up again some day and enjoy it more。
Lindsey
，
Another great parenting book from Daniel Siegel and I love that they have a PDF to print off with key points from the book。 The authors stress how we can repair things when we mess up which is an important thing I think we need to remember。 We will never be able to be the perfect parent but we can try our best and this book gives great guidance on how to improve in our parenting skills。
Beth
，
An excellent resource for parenting and emotional health。 Highly recommend。
Kristen McBee
，
Another solid book from this excellent duo。 I had trouble understanding this one at times， and I think that has more to do with my lack of understanding （read: experience） of what secure attachment looks like versus the authors’ fault。
Thea Mercado
，
Essential for anyone raising kids or working with children。
Heather
，
I've read so many parenting books！ This is by far one of the most insightful， practical of them all。 I want to read all the titles by this author now。 I had many aha moments about how I was raised and how that set certain patterns in motion。 It validated many positive choices I've made as a parent and motivated me to be even more intentional。 I've read so many parenting books！ This is by far one of the most insightful， practical of them all。 I want to read all the titles by this author now。 I had many aha moments about how I was raised and how that set certain patterns in motion。 It validated many positive choices I've made as a parent and motivated me to be even more intentional。 。。。more
Shelly Zhou
，
Thorough and useful。 A bit repetitive though。
Rachel Morgan
，
Another great book finished！ The Power of Showing Up was an excellent read。 I do caution those that had a tough childhood that it could bring back some rough memories， but really makes you think and provides a great deal of hope and wonderful strategies。 Some of my favorite Quotes/Information:Showing up includes the 4 S's:- Safe - protected and sheltered- Seen - Care about them- Soothed - Be there for them- Secure - Trust you to be predictable"History is not destiny - Our past can be understood Another great book finished！ The Power of Showing Up was an excellent read。 I do caution those that had a tough childhood that it could bring back some rough memories， but really makes you think and provides a great deal of hope and wonderful strategies。 Some of my favorite Quotes/Information:Showing up includes the 4 S's:- Safe - protected and sheltered- Seen - Care about them- Soothed - Be there for them- Secure - Trust you to be predictable"History is not destiny - Our past can be understood so that it doesn't dictate our present and our future" - Sigel"Forgiveness is giving up all hope for a better past" - Jack Kornfeld"Shift from behavioral approach to a more relational coregulating approach" - Sigel"When adults change their behavior in response to a child's intense reactions， it can change the child's behavior" - Sigel 。。。more
Widya Wiryawan
，
Great reading
Christian
，
Advice on making sure your kids have the Four S's， that they are Safe， Seen， Soothed， and Secure。 I need to work on the Soothed。 Advice on making sure your kids have the Four S's， that they are Safe， Seen， Soothed， and Secure。 I need to work on the Soothed。 。。。more
Cindy
，
Such an excellent and easy to read book。 I am not a parent myself but I work with many pre-teens and teens and their parents and this book was very helpful in giving me the language necessary to explain attachment theory to my clients。 I also loved that it helped me learn more about my own attachment style。 I enjoyed the practical tips that were included in each category but I do wish there were more "hands on" tips。 I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to learn more about themselves Such an excellent and easy to read book。 I am not a parent myself but I work with many pre-teens and teens and their parents and this book was very helpful in giving me the language necessary to explain attachment theory to my clients。 I also loved that it helped me learn more about my own attachment style。 I enjoyed the practical tips that were included in each category but I do wish there were more "hands on" tips。 I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to learn more about themselves and the children in their lives。 。。。more
Tiffany
，
If you are anxious about screwing up your child （as I always am） this book is a nice antidote。 It’s easy to read， clear， and it makes you realize that a lot of the small stuff you do naturally is actually the big stuff in the long run。 This is a reassuring place to start reflecting on the parents you had， and the parent you want to be。 I would recommend starting this after the newborn haze has lifted， but before the tantrum phase descends。
Saurabh
，
Like other books by the authors， this one also provides some great frameworks for parenting along with tactical tools that one can use over time or in urgent moments。 Highly recommended！
Gina
，
This book is one that is absolutely going on my "purchase" list。 I think there are so many little gems that I will want to read and refer back to as my child grows。 Many parenting "experts" refer to this book and others written by these authors and I totally get why。 The basis of the book is learning the importance of making sure your child feels Safe， Seen， Soothed and Secure and it absolutely resonates with my personal feelings towards how to parent。 It is not lost on me that the week I work o This book is one that is absolutely going on my "purchase" list。 I think there are so many little gems that I will want to read and refer back to as my child grows。 Many parenting "experts" refer to this book and others written by these authors and I totally get why。 The basis of the book is learning the importance of making sure your child feels Safe， Seen， Soothed and Secure and it absolutely resonates with my personal feelings towards how to parent。 It is not lost on me that the week I work on this book is one of the most frustrating weeks with my toddler to date。 Teething three 2nd molars， dealing with a growth spurt and being a two-rnado on the verge of a three-nager has made for a rough week and as much as I tried to implement everything I was hearing， I fell short again and again。 What was reassuring to me though was that as I was falling short Dr。 Bryson and Dr。 Siegel reminded me that I wasn't failing and I could repair the relationship。 If I had one criticism it would be that I wish the entire book was narrated by Dr。 Bryson。 I appreciate both authors participating in the narration and feel like it is fair based on their contribution to this book however I just wish Dr。 Siegel was a little more animated in his delivery and a little less monotone。 That being said it wasn't enough of an issue to rank the book any lower。 。。。more
Lou
，
So thankful to have had the space for this one。For me， the idea of presence has been an important parenting concept。 This book took that concept to a delightfully realized place， with background and clear examples。 Quite fulfilling。Regardless if presence is familiar or not， this book helps walk through relatively simple techniques that can make parenting feel like growth for everyone。It also brought to the fore elements of my own childhood and early adulthood which will be both a challenge and a So thankful to have had the space for this one。For me， the idea of presence has been an important parenting concept。 This book took that concept to a delightfully realized place， with background and clear examples。 Quite fulfilling。Regardless if presence is familiar or not， this book helps walk through relatively simple techniques that can make parenting feel like growth for everyone。It also brought to the fore elements of my own childhood and early adulthood which will be both a challenge and a gift to explore。 。。。more
Edita Kazakevičienė
，
Kai pamačiau， kad lietuviškai išleista naujausia šių autorių knyga， labai apsidžiaugiau。 Jie moka taip įkvepiančiai pasakoti apie tėvų ir vaikų santykius， ryšį ir smegenų vystymąsi， jog kiekvienąkart perskaičiusi jų knygą， aš įsitikinu， jog tėvystė gali būti daug lengvesnė ir malonesnė。 Turbūt jau esate girdėję ar netgi skaitę Daniel J。 Siegel ir Tina Payne Bryson ankstesnes knygas: „Auklėjimas be dramų”， „Protingas vaikas” ar „Smegenys tariančios taip”。 Na， o šioje knygoje dar giliau ir nuodugn Kai pamačiau， kad lietuviškai išleista naujausia šių autorių knyga， labai apsidžiaugiau。 Jie moka taip įkvepiančiai pasakoti apie tėvų ir vaikų santykius， ryšį ir smegenų vystymąsi， jog kiekvienąkart perskaičiusi jų knygą， aš įsitikinu， jog tėvystė gali būti daug lengvesnė ir malonesnė。 Turbūt jau esate girdėję ar netgi skaitę Daniel J。 Siegel ir Tina Payne Bryson ankstesnes knygas: „Auklėjimas be dramų”， „Protingas vaikas” ar „Smegenys tariančios taip”。 Na， o šioje knygoje dar giliau ir nuodugniau tyrinėjamas ryšys tarp tėvų ir vaikų， prieraišumo mokslas， pateikiamos naujausios įžvalgos apie neuroplastiškumą ir tarpasmeninę neurobiologiją。 Kaip sako knygos pavadinimas， autoriai atskleidžia， kodėl tėvams svarbu būti šalia savo vaikų ir kokią naudą jiems tai suteikia。 Omenyje turimas ne tik fizinis artumas， bet ir šio artumo kokybė， t。y。 dėmesingumas vaikui， išankstinių lūkesčių atsisakymas， budrumas， buvimas „čia ir dabar”。 Buvimo šalia esmę puikiai nusako struktūros SMAGU （The four's S） elementai: S - saugus vaikasM - matomas vaikasA - apkabintas vaikasG - guodžiamas vaikasU - užtikrintas vaikasTikrasis mūsų tėvų tikslas yra （ir turėtų būti） saugus prieraišumas。 Kaip rodo moksliniai tyrimai， būtent jis ir yra tas pagrindas， kuris nulemia tolimesnę sėkmę ir pilnatvę vaiko gyvenime。 Buvo labai įdomu skaityti prieraišumo tipus ir atpažinti， koks prieraišumo modelis išsivystė man ir mano vaikams ir kaip tai įtakoja mūsų asmenybę。 Be to， autoriai perduoda labai gerą žinią， jog nesvarbu， kokį prieraišumo modelį atsinešėme iš savo vaikystės – savo vaikams vistiek galime suteikti saugų prisirišimą。 Gali būti， jog užteks perskaityti šią knygą， permąstyti ir suprasti savo praeitį， o gal netgi kreiptis pagalbos į specialistus。 Bet šią， didžiausią dovaną savo vaikams – saugumą， suteikti tikrai įmanoma。 Taigi， mums nereikia žinoti atsakymų į visus klausimus， perskaityti daugybę knygų apie vaikų auklėjimą ar būti tobuliems ar neklystantiems。 Ryšys su vaikais yra kuriamas ir puoselėjamas nuolat， todėl niekada nevėlu jį pagerinti。 Mums pakanka būti šalia ir būti savo vaikų pusėje， nes mes juos be galo branginame ir mylime。 O santykiai， ryšys ir saugumas yra didžiausios vertybės iššūkių kupiname tėvystės kelyje。https://profesionalimama。wordpress。co。。。 。。。more
Kerry Tousignant
，
It was a tad repetitive， but the information is useful and written clearly。 It gave me several ideas for parent information nights I can host at school。 I’d like to give copies to my friends as their kids grow into toddlers and young children。
Ohbabs
，